First things first

Dear Scientology,

You didn’t break me, I may have cracked more than a little along the way but you didn’t break me. You separated me from my unborn babys father and sent me away to no mans land in Oklahoma but you didn’t break me. You fed me nothing but plain ground beef three times a day for three months while I was pregnant but you didn’t break me. You made me disconnect from my family and friends who weren’t any too sure about you but you didn’t break me. You forced me to escape to unknown lands in Ohio where I knew no one except for my newborn but you didn’t break me. You tried to take away my spirit and my opinions and my self but still I didn’t break. You had me questioning my belief in not only God and people but in the very essence of human nature and yet I didn’t break. I was alone and bereft and broke from working thirteen hours a day , 7 days a week with no pay and still I didn’t break. You took away my belief in goodness and inspiration for quite some years but I wasn’t broken. Today my mind and soul are intact and in harmony, the discord has been replaced with tranquility and the voices in my head , the fear and the anxiety are all but forgotten. I am a mother, a wife, a daughter and a sister and hopefully a good friend to many, despite your attempts at taking all that away from me for your own selfish desires for power. I still have hairline fractures amongst my porcleian and probably always will but for the most part I am healed and smoothing out the rough edges. I no longer live in fear and dread of your power for you hold none over me. Truth can be shouted from the rooftops, not doled out to a few in darkened rooms, sequestered and is not for sale. Humanity will prevail despite you not because of you and goodness and light will continue to thrive even when your façade is long forgotten. You may have left marks on my psyche but you didn’t steal my hope or faith. My value no longer consists of statistics and fakery and the days of my manipulating others is long past. My ties to you are severed and I can now breathe in and out without asking for permission. I will never stop speaking out about your lies and deceit but they will no longer be my mainstay. The love, fellowship and purpose that you attempted to rob me of for so long are my roots now and strong and healthy. So long, farewell and goodbye.
But don’t think you’re not exiting the building before me. Tick tock

11 thoughts on “First things first”

  1. That is the most profound, heartfelt, sincere and touching piece I’ve ever read… so happy for your new found serenity and peace… Go get ‘um girl, you have countless supporters standing in the wings with you

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Such a brave woman. Congratulations! Now the world can read your story on the internet! I hope you keep writing, Sam. The more frequently you write an new article, the better your site ranks in the Google search engine. Suggestion: don’t forget to add keyword / tags to your posts. Like, for this first article, try adding tag words such as: Scientology, Narconon, Abuse, neglect, Oklahoma, Ohio, California These make it easier for people to find your articles.

    Liked by 1 person

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